Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Engaged People

Being a single girl in her early to mid 20s, I've known several engaged people. After experiencing a range of differing engagements and the stories (and then weddings) that go with these engagements, I've come to find that there are three types of engaged girls. Yes, there are exceptions (as there are to any theory), but in my opinion, the majority of engaged couples fall into one of these three categories.

The first of these is the disappearing couple. Everything is all fine and dandy while they are dating, and they come to activities together and join in the fun. But, as soon as they get engaged, they fall from off the face of the earth, remaining illusive except for the occasional facebook posting of engagement photos, countdown, or request for addresses for the wedding announcements/invitations. Suddenly, they never return phone calls, don't show up to activities or church, and shirk their responsibilities except for those of planning the wedding. Y'all know someone that fits this description. Once that ring is on their finger, you can just plan on never seeing them again until the wedding (if you're invited), and then after that, don't count on it.

Which then brings me to the opposite engaged person, the one who has to constantly remind you that, yes in fact she is engaged and, in case you didn't know, soon to be married. They flash their ring around or are constantly holding it up to look at it, only to make sure you are looking at it too. They have to keep announcing how hard and time-consuming it is to plan a wedding and that you couldn't possibly know how happy they are because you are a poor single person with no one to love, but they recommend getting engaged and married to everyone (like we are in a store debating on if it really is worth spending the money on it only to have it dry out our skin or not be as high quality as we were expecting).

In every conversation they have to squeeze in how they won't have to go to the single's ward anymore soon and that it'll be hard to adjust to the family ward because they've been away from it for X amount of years, but it will be absolutely wonderful. This type of engaged person always has to keep you updated on the progress of the wedding plans and their future life together: where they'll be living, what kind of bedroom furniture they are looking at, wedding colors, honeymoon, and really anything you could care less about (or don't want to know). After awhile, those in this category get freakin' annoying, and you almost wish they would be like the ones in the first category cause then you wouldn't have to hear them. If you know/knew someone of this type, you too were counting down the days till the wedding: Only X more days left of "Oh, sorry I can't, I'm engaged" (like it's a deadly disease that keeps you from doing anything fun with non-engaged people).

Then, there's my favorite type of engaged persons. They are the kind that quietly announce their engagement (or perhaps not quietly, depending) once and then go about their daily lives perfectly normal. They don't disappear; they continue to attend church and fulfill their calling and responsibilities. They even keep attending the single's activities and have fun with their friends even if those friends are non-engaged people. They do not have to constantly advertise the fact that they are getting married or are engaged. Those of this category may not even come off as clearly "engaged." Although after some time, you can figure it out by the ring or the fact they are always together or holding hands. They aren't overtly engaged, I guess you could say. These are my favorite kind of engaged people (cause they are easier to get along with/stand/be friends with still), and most engaged people tend to fit in this category. These people are still cool to hang around and who, for the most part, you will probably still see around or hear from even after they're married.

Funny thing is all three types of engaged people are in my current single's ward... oh the joys of being single are endless.

7 comments:

Grant Haws said...

Oh wow...the second type make me nauseated...And I like after they've been married a week and start counseling others about marriage. Eventually they start talking about the wonders of being married and the happiness it has brought them. All the while I am gagging and waiting for the couple to be in a fight so I can pop out and yell "HAHA! I told you so!"

Rachel Mohat said...

LOL I can only imagine who u are talking about lol.

Devin and Rebecca said...

Ok, so which was I? :)

Alison said...

Wow! Dead on, my friend! This really made me laugh, and I totally agree with you. :D

Kate Challis said...

I agree with your theory about the different kinds of engaged people, but having been there, I dunno...it's really, REALLY hard for life to stay "business as usual" because everything HAS just changed, and in a BIG way. Plus, you really can't expect married people to hang out with single people that much. When my husband and I have tried to do this, it's always been super awkward. I don't know how to describe it. I think there are 3 ways that single people can respond to people who get engaged: either they take it as some kind of personal attack and get angry at their friend (which makes NO sense!), they are super, duper happy for their friend and show their excitement, or they are completely apathetic. I had a close friend who was pretty apathetic about me getting engaged, and it really felt crappy, because getting engaged really IS a big deal, and something beyond the routine-of-daily-life SHOULD be done when that happens!

Lari Tanner said...

Good Mattie! It's all in the attitude right and how you handle things! Some do it well and some do not!

Rachel Mohat said...

My roommate just got engaged after 3 weeks. I am anxious to see what kind of engaged couple they become. I will have to use your list to compare.