Sunday, August 22, 2010

Back to School

Well, folks, the time has come. My first Master's class is on Monday. I'll admit, I'm both really excited and really nervous. I don't quite know what to expect. How much different will it be compared to my undergrad? How much more work is it? How will I not feel stressed ALL of the time? Will I ever have time to do something fun and not feel guilty cause I'm not studying?

I don't know; I don't know; I don't know; and I don't know are the answers to all these questions. Hopefully I'll figure out the real answers to these soon. But, I did get a little inkling to how one of my classes (I'm taking two, Aesthetics of Interactive Art and Intro to Emerging Media and Communications) is going to be because the professor (for my EMAC class) posted a tentative syllabus for us to look at. So, of course I read all of it. And this is what I discovered:

I'm required to have a twitter account (done), an email I check regularly (I have 2), and.... a blog (DONE!) Then I learned why I needed those things....

Blogging is 35% of my grade!!!!!! Then, another 10% is going to all of my classmates blogs, reading their posts, and commenting on them.

Ummmm what?

Yeah... ok....

I started thinking, oh no problem, already have a blog, but then I started thinking about what all I put on this here blog and about how... hmmm maybe I don't want my professor and classmates to read my personal musings. Not that I say really terrible stuff on here... but occasionally my posts are in fact rants... and while they are entertaining and cathartic, I might not want people that don't know me very well having access to them, at least before they get to know me.

So, after thinking about it a while, I decided to create an entirely new blog and twitter account just for school. You know as an attempt to compartmentalize and segregate my life. That and I figured you guys wouldn't want to read my 500-800 word posts every week on topics we've discussed in class (like society and media and how I feel about it).

BUT, in case you do ever want to see what it is my more professional self is discussing... here's the link to my other blog (http://missnesbitpro.wordpress.com) and my other twitter account (http://twitter.com/missnesbitpro).

And with that dear friends, I bid you good night. Wish me luck!

Saturday, August 21, 2010

I Heart This Song

Every time this comes on the radio it makes me happy:


"Who cares if you disagree? You are not me. Who made you king of anything? You dare tell me who to be? Who died and made you king of anything?"

Of course this other song by Sara Bareilles (Love Song) also makes me happy:

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Embracing Your Singleness--Step 3

This is the last step, in my opinion, on embracing your singleness (I'm all about keeping it simple), but if you are wanting a few more steps, check out this video below:
Now that you know why and how to start being okay with being single, it's time to have fun with it! Where is some place you've always wanted to travel to? What is something you've always wanted to do? Do it now while you're single because it will be a lot easier than when you're attached. For one, it will be cheaper. Paying for yourself to travel, eat, and shop is way cheaper than for two people. Also, when you travel with someone else, most times you will have to compromise with each other on what to do. Because while you can do a lot of stuff together, one of you is probably going to enjoy it more than the other.

When you're single and travel, you are on your own time table, and you get to do what you want to do because you don't have to accommodate anyone else. Case in point my trip to New York City. I went by myself, and I got to do the things I wanted to do and take my time doing them. I didn't feel rushed, and when I had decided I had seen all I wanted to at a certain place, I left. I didn't have to wait for someone, and I didn't feel guilty about wanting to leave when someone else wanted to stay longer. I had a blast, and I know that the trip still would have been fun had I gone with someone else. But, because it was just me, it was everything I wanted to do without any compromising. I loved it.

I have a friend who has a list of 30 things she wants to do before she's 30, which I think is awesome, and I really wish I had done that. I guess I still could actually. My point is, don't you have things you want to do or see while you are still able to? My mom has always said to me that she's glad that I'm doing things like going to New York or learning new skills and hobbies because she said she regrets not having done more things while she was still single. Now she's not saying she regrets getting married or anything, but she just wishes that she had taken advantage of her single years because doing those things become more difficult when you get married and then especially when you have kids.

Once you are married, yes you can do some things and most times you'll have the rest of your lives to do them in, but it'll be different. Comparatively, most people are single for such a shorter amount of time than when they are married. Take advantage of that time now, because who knows when Mr./Mrs. Right will come along. For those that have been single longer than you were hoping for/planning on, it's okay. Remember, you can still be happy and single! There are plenty of people that are in the same boat as you, although I'm sure sometimes it doesn't feel like it. You are terrific just how you are, and if you're doing all of these things in embracing your singleness, those times when you feel lonely aren't quite as bad or long. If you're feeling down, call me up. We'll commiserate together for a bit, and then we'll shake it off and have some fun. We'll be alone together. :)

It's okay to be single. Some are in this state longer than others, but while you're in it, enjoy it because you'll never know how long it will last or if you'll get it back. I found this video that is absolutely perfect, and I think is a great way to end my "Embracing Your Singleness" series. Enjoy!

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Embracing Your Singleness--Step 2

The next step in embracing your singledom and learning more abut yourself is learning how to be okay with it.

Before that though, I'd like to address the married folks out there: We know you mean well and that you are just wanting us single folks to be as happy as you, but you should not say the following to us cause it'll only make us annoyed or feel worse (click here).

Ok, now my single friends: Our married friends are just trying to be helpful and want us to be happy. Just nod, smile, and ignore them if they are annoying you.

Part of how to be okay with being single is not to be angry or jealous of those around you that aren't. Granted, it's going to happen, but recognizing it and getting over the jealousy is better for you. The longer you stay jealous or angry about how you are single and someone else isn't, the longer you'll be single. Now why would you want to do that to yourself? You can be happy and be single. Believe me, it's possible. Those non-single folks were single once too; yes they might have forgotten, but it just takes a little reminding. But, they were once in your shoes, so give them a little credit and be a little more understanding when they try to give you advice. (Believe me I'm telling myself this too, not just you.)

So, we've established that you are not angry at those who are not single. Remember, this is about you not them. So being angry at them only hurts you. Ok, now back to you (he he he...): Start learning about yourself, what your likes/dislikes are. Just general ones at this point, not necessarily ones in relation to a significant other. (You'll get there eventually, but at the start, focus on you and general things.) Do you have any hobbies? Is there something you've always wanted to do or learn? Now is the time to learn/do those things because you're not distracted by someone else.

Start establishing who you are, figure out how you want your life to go. Is there a habit you've been meaning to break or one you want to start? Look at your life and re-evaluate it and change it if you don't like it. When you are single, it's easier to change your life, break habits, reach goals, and learn new things. Take advantage of that.

This is how you become okay with being single: learn more about yourself and what you like. Discover how you like your eggs. Once you do that, you're ready for the next step in embracing your singleness.

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Embracing Your Singleness--Step 1

The first step to embracing your singleness is to realize it's okay that you are single. For some, it takes longer to come to terms with this fact and be okay. Some people are lost without being in a relationship, so they go into another (rebound) as soon as they can. If this is you, I say, take your time; revel in the fact that you are unattached.

Whenever I feel down in the fact that I am single, I just think about all the failing relationships in the world and how I'm glad I'm not in one. Ok, I realize this sounds terrible, but sometimes it gets me out of my "woe is me" pity party. I know of so many young couples that are getting divorced after only a few years of marriage. It's sad and horrible, but sometimes I feel like it's because they didn't take the time to really get to know one another.

At a certain age, we've all been told that the next step in our lives is to get married. So because that is the next logical step in our progression, they get married without really comprehending the reality of it all. Some are in love with the idea of being in love, and when they realize that marriage is work, they run home and decide they don't want to be married anymore. It wasn't what they thought it was going to be. Granted, I'm sure there might be other circumstances as to why they call it quits, but I am almost positive that in most cases what I'm talking about is the underlying problem.

When it's time to get married, you had better know your future spouse. Yes, you'll get to know him/her even more after you're married, but before then I hope you know him/her as much as you possibly can. Which then leads me to my next point: The only way you can really know your significant other is after you really know yourself. It's hard to know yourself very well when you're not single.

If you're dating, you'll always define yourself in terms of that relationship or that person unless you've already learned about yourself beforehand. And, if you continue to define yourself in terms of another, once that person leaves you'll have to start over again or at least fill that gap (perhaps with another person). Why would you want to keep doing that every time when you can do it once when you're single? Then, once you really know yourself, it makes it that much easier when you find yourself in a relationship. You won't waste your time since you'll know what will work for you and that is what you'll look for in a companion.

What do I mean? Well, have you seen Runaway Bride? In it, Julia Roberts' character always likes and does whatever her fiance at the time likes and does, and Richard Gere's character calls her out on it. Remember, she doesn't know what kind of eggs she likes? Well, it's not until after her and Richard Gere's failed attempt at marriage the 1st time around that Julia Roberts starts finding out who she is. She tries every kind of egg she can until she finds the one she likes. She does what she's always wanted to do: sell her unique lamps in New York City. She finds out who she is while she is single, and it is then that she realizes and decides that Richard Gere is what she wants. And it is when she's discovered herself that is she is ready to commit to marrying Richard Gere. Make sense now?

Ok, now that we've established why it's okay to be single (if you need more reasons, check out this), the next step is how to be okay with it.

Sunday, August 01, 2010

What's Important?

You know how some Sundays you just kind of go through the motions, but then there are other Sundays where you actually pay attention and you get something out of the lessons you hear. Well, I'm sad to admit that I've had more of the former kind of Sundays lately, and I realize this is my fault. But, today, I don't know what it was, (perhaps I subconsciously decided to listen instead of play on my iPod) I had a very meaningful Sunday where I actually learned something.

In Relief Society our lesson was about Thomas S. Monson's talk "Finding Joy in the Journey." In the talk President Monson talks about a man in the Vietnam War who was shot down and captured:
In the 1960s, during the Vietnam War, Church member Jay Hess, an airman, was shot down over North Vietnam. For two years his family had no idea whether he was dead or alive. His captors in Hanoi eventually allowed him to write home but limited his message to less than 25 words. What would you and I say to our families if we were in the same situation—not having seen them for over two years and not knowing if we would ever see them again? Wanting to provide something his family could recognize as having come from him and also wanting to give them valuable counsel, Brother Hess wrote—and I quote: “These things are important: temple marriage, mission, college. Press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a year.”
President Monson continues saying, "Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows."

Our teacher then gave us each a piece of paper and asked us to imagine ourselves in a similar situation. What would we tell our families what we thought was the most important? This is what I wrote:
Family is important; spend as much time with them as you can. Cherish your friendships. Love with all your heart even when you think it might not be appreciated. Live the gospel because it is the one truth that will get you through this life and into the next. Serve everyone especially when you don't feel like it because that's when you need to serve the most. Laugh and be happy because life is too short not to.
She then asked us to think about our lives and if we are actually living what we think is important, and if we are not, change so that we are. So with that I ask you, what's important?