So um hi

Hey there.

So... that last post, huh...

Yeah... umm...

SUPER DEPRESSING, AM I RIGHT?

Yeah guys... I'm kind of sorry about that. Since I've had a few people ask me about it and make sure I'm okay (which I truly appreciate and think you guys are so sweet and caring and awesome and I love you all!), I figured maybe I should explain/clarify/reiterate that I'm okay and that it was not a cry for help. It was more a writing exercise/getting emotions out kind of thing for myself 'cause you guys know me, I have to write out what I feel to work through it.

See what had happened was is that I was alone at a restaurant and my phone was dead, so I sat there looking super lame cause I wasn't doing anything while I was waiting for my food (I don't know about you guys but whenever I'm dining alone I feel like I need to be doing something, reading/writing/on my phone/anything, so as not to look like a loser just sitting there staring off into space). Because my phone was dead and I had no one to talk to, I pulled out a scrap paper that was in my purse and just started writing.

And that post is what came out.

I did stop part way and finished the rest when I got back home to type it all out. I'll admit that when I went back and reread it when I was done I realized it came out a lot more depressing than what I had started thinking it was going to be. I even debated on whether or not to even publish it, but by then it was 2 in the morning, I was tired, and I already had it all typed and ready to go. I even started writing a disclaimer of sorts saying basically what I am telling you now, but again I was tired, so I said screw it, deleted the disclaimer, and clicked publish.

That being said, yes, all of what I wrote out was true and what I was thinking and feeling at the time when I wrote it. But, as I said before, I'm one of those that once I write it all out and get it all down on paper, I feel much better afterwards, which is why I had the debate on whether to publish it. Because when I went back to read it, I felt differently at the end of it than when I did when I had started.

But because you guys are such wonderful people, the next day I had emails filled with concern and inspirational youtube video links. When explaining the situation to one of you, I decided that I should put up a happy post filled with puppies, and she suggested this:

To cheer me up/inspire me, another friend had sent me THIS video, THIS one, and my favorite of the three, this: 

Yesterday I was able to spend some of my time helping out my friend find songs for his wedding reception, so I listened to some really great and beautiful songs about love (and some that were just good in general) like these:

• "I Can't Make You Love Me/ Nick of Time" - Bon Iver
• "Tug of War" - Carly Rae Jepson (which side note, I LOVE many of her other songs that are not the completely over played and yet still enjoyable, to me anyway, "Call Me Maybe" so I suggest listening to her others)
• "I Melt With You" - Bowling for Soup
• "1, 2, 3, 4" - Plain White T's
• "Stole My Heart" - Little and Ashley
• "The Power of Love" - Huey Lewis
• "Love Train" - The O'Jays
• "Sweet Disposition" - The Temper Trap

Then, today, another friend shared with me some HILARIOUS videos that we're going to end up talking about on our podcast (I have a podcast... I told you guys about that right? No... well I have a podcast with a friend of mine called Gramblings. Search for it in iTunes and listen! We have 5 episodes already!). BUT because I love you guys so much and because a few of you were sweet enough to make sure I was okay, I'll share the videos with you early before I talk about them on the podcast:


And this guy's original videos are just as hilarious on their own:

Lost

Sometimes being an adult sucks.

Big time.

Especially when on the outside it appears like you got your crap together, but on the inside you're floundering, wishing this life that you seem to find yourself in wasn't yours.

Now, I don't want you guys to worry too much about me.

For the most part, I'm okay. And, it's only sometimes when I start to really think about it and dwell on it that I start feeling like I'm lost in a foreign place that I had never planned to be.

Occasionally this is fun, at least at first, until you no longer find being lost an adventure and start longing to find your way back to somewhere, someone familiar. If you've been lost before, I'm sure you know this feeling and can almost pinpoint the moment that you start to think:

"What if I can never find my way again?"

For me, if I get lost, the thought doesn't creep in till later. At first I'm all confident in my lostness: Clearly I missed that turn a few miles back. Yes, that's what it is. But then I think to myself, what if that wasn't the turn? Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, and it's actually just a little further. Yes, that's it. I'm freaking out for nothing.

So I press on down the same path until I realize that I am so obviously lost it's not even funny. So I make a U-turn and turn where I think I was supposed to, only it doesn't feel right still, and panic starts to set in. And slowly that thought seeps into my mind:

What if I can't get back? What if there's no one that can help me? 

What if I'll be alone and lost... forever?

I try to push this thought out of my head. I'm being irrational; it's just fear talking. I'll get out of this and be fine. I'm not alone; I won't be lost forever. But the thought still lingers... in the back of my mind, waiting to worm it's way back into the surface of my thoughts.

Eventually, after a few stops, several U-turns, and a few desperate phone calls (or GPS look ups, if I'm lucky), I do find myself at my intended destination, ready to regale my friends of my misadventure, playing off any slight panic attacks, and never revealing the one thought that I had pushed back down below.

But it's still there. Waiting. Waiting to burrow it's way back up, waiting until it's just visible enough to have someone, anyone, notice. And sometimes, it's not even me that notices first.



Yesterday, I went to a nearby restaurant by myself and ordered dinner to go. It wasn't very crowded: A family nearby the entrance that was finishing their meal, and a few friends in the back. I sat near the entrance at a stool waiting for my order, noticing the family and the surroundings. As I watched the family gather up their things and start to leave, my mind started to wander.

Even now I honestly don't remember what I was thinking about, if I even thought anything at all. I was just staring off into space. But in the periphery I notice someone trying to get my attention. In my daze, it takes a while to realize that it's the cashier telling me that part of my order is ready. I apologize for not hearing him the first time, and instead of saying it's okay or ignoring it, he asks:

"Are you okay?"

"Oh I'm fine. I was just spacing out." I reply, waving it off like it's no big deal. He kind of gives me a quizzical look, like he doesn't really believe me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asks again with real concern in his voice.

Again I tell him I'm fine that I was just thinking about all the things I had to do when I got home and that I really was okay. He hesitantly handed over my order and told me he understood because he was getting ready to go to college and he hadn't packed anything. I laughed with him and told him I knew how that was. When the other part of my order was ready and I started heading out the door, he called after me:

"I hope you have a good evening!"

"Thanks! Good luck with college!" I called back as the door closed behind me. Any other time/day I would have thought nothing more about the conversation, or I would have thought it was a bit odd and then moved on. But as I made my way back home, I couldn't stop thinking about what he had asked me and the genuine concern in his voice when he did.

Did he see something while I was spacing out? Something that I didn't notice?

Am I okay?

Am I sure?

Sometimes I prefer ink and paper

I know I haven't updated in a while, and I've been meaning to update about Comic Con, and believe me it will happen. But I gotta take care of some other things first. So until then, I decided I'd mix it up and kick it old school by writing out a post. Hopefully you can read it. :) (I posted the page in full, and then zoomed in on the paragraphs.)

1st page in full

1st page, 1st paragraph

1st page, 2nd paragraph

2nd page in full

2nd page, 1st paragraph

2nd page, 2nd paragraph

2nd page, last paragraph

Oh gosh... I already see a glaring error. Ahh the joys of writing on a piece of paper (*when Titanic came out not win. It was late when I wrote this. That's my excuse.)

So Here's the Dealio

I have about 3 posts in drafts that I started but then never got around to finishing.

My bad. I'm sorry.

They're pretty good too, and I'll probably still post them even though they might not be immediately relevant any more (which probably adds to the reason why I haven't finished them cause I didn't feel the same when I started writing them as I did when I went back to finish them).

As some of you may be aware, I am moving (to a new apartment).

Tomorrow.

Which means I've been kind of busy trying to pack and clean and pack and get rid of stuff (HOW DID I GET SO MUCH? WHY DO I KEEP BUYING CRAP?!)

And as more others of you are aware,* I'm going on vacation to the San Diego Comic Con (SDCC for you hip cats). 

The day after tomorrow.

Yeah.

Which means I've been packing up all of my crap AS WELL AS packing for vacation.

SO LIKE I'VE BEEN BUSY OKAY?

However, I'm taking my laptop with me on vacay because I'm hoping to get so many pictures of awesomeness and celebrities that I'll have to unload all my SD cards every night. Also, I'm hoping to do a little daily blog post of my adventures (we'll see if this happens I might be too overwhelmed/tired to do it).

BUT even if I'm not able to do a daily digest of my SDCC adventures while I'm there, I will for sure be tweeting and possibly tumbling pictures and the goings-on throughout the experience. So, feel free to live vicariously through me by checking:

My twitter: @missnesbit
My tumblr: missnesbit.tumblr.com
Also, I'm sure I'll also be posting on my Facebook for my FB friends as well!

(Small note on my Tumblr, I have a queue set up that will continue posting throughout the day, so if you see a post and it's not SDCC or vacation related it's because it's my queue. They are still humorous posts that you should look at, but it means I'm not actually online posting them.)

And of course, upon my return when I've gathered my senses and come back to reality and have possibly been revived from the nerd/geek death that I'm sure I will have suffered by the end, I will post a recap of the highlights.

But because I'm sure y'all are curious, here's a teaser about what I'm most excited about:

• Seeing my grandparents and Aunt and possibly my other Aunt and Uncle
• Staying in a beach house that is 1 mile away from it. (I've never stayed somewhere so close!)
• Seeing a few dear friends, including the wonderful Jessica!
• For sure seeing James Roday and Dule Hill of the TV show Psych at Nerd HQ
• Experiencing the crazy awesome epicness that is SDCC
• Possibly getting into the following panels
• Teen Wolf (don't judge me ok TYLER HOECHLIN PEOPLE)
• Community (Joel McHale! Danny Pudi! Donald Glover! EVERYONE!)
• 10th Aniversary of Firefly (THE WHOLE CAST IS GOING TO BE THERE)
• The Hobbit (Sir Ian Mckellan AND Martin Freeman AND Andy Serkis AND Peter Jackson AND Richard Armitage)
• Supernatural (JENSEN ACKLES MISHA COLLINS ENOUGH SAID)
• DOCTOR WHO (DOCTOR WHOOOOOOO!!!!)

I could go on, but who knows if I'll actually get into any of these things. If anything just going and being there is getting me excited enough. Like I haven't even been able to sleep very well these last few weeks because I've been so anxious about it all.

Anyways, wish me luck and I'll catch you peeps on the flipside!

*And really if you don't know we're probably not that great of friends or you just came across my blog or something cause I haven't been able to stop talking about it for like months now.

2012 Is The Year For Movies-Part 2

This is Part 2 of why 2012 is the year for movies. For Part 1 CLICK HERE. Part 2 contains all the movies that I'm SUPER excited for that haven't come out just yet. The ones I'm really excited for I'll embed the trailers, the others that I'm sort of interested in I'll just link to them.

I think the one movie that I am the MOST excited for is The Hobbit:



I have mixed thoughts and feelings about it being broken up into two parts, but I'm sure I'll get over it. But anyways, like LOOK at how awesome it's going to be. And like EVERYONE is going to be in it and I'm SOOOOO FREAKIN' EXCITED. And Martin Freeman!! Ugh, like really I can't even write a complete sentence, that's how stoked I am for this movie to come out (December 14th).

The second movie that is SOOO close (just one more week) that I have been anticipating for MONTHS is Brave:


It's a Pixar film, so you know it's going to be good, and like I'm already in love with Merida, and YAY SCOTLAND! I cannot wait to go see this, and luckily I don't have to wait that much longer because it comes out June 22nd.

The third one is The Dark Knight Rises:


The other two were awesome, so I would expect nothing less for this last one. This comes out July 20th, and tickets for the midnight showings are already on sale, so buy your tickets now!

The fourth one is also a comic book movie AND another remake. I don't quite know why they're remaking it so soon, but I'll still go see it cause look at who's in it people- The Amazing Spider-man:


This one comes out July 3rd, and while I'll forgo the midnight showing on this one, I get the feeling this will be the 4th of July movie my family goes to see.

So that's it for the movies that I'm beyond excited for, the rest of these I'm mildly intrigued by and am still anticipating (in no particular order):

1. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (TRAILER)-It just sounds awesome (and I love most of the actors in it), and I've heard great things about the book (I have the audiobook just haven't listened to it yet). This comes out next week on June 22nd.
2. Safety Not Guaranteed (TRAILER)-This looks cute and funny. It comes out August 9th.
3. Seeking a Friend for the End of the World (TRAILER)- I'm intrigued by this mainly because Steve Carrell and Keira Knightly. It comes out June 22nd.
4. Ted (TRAILER)-I'll be honest at first I was like WHAT? But then it looks funny and I love me some Mark Wahlberg (Also, the Redband TRAILER is funnier but way more dirtier and inappropriate so fair warning). It comes out June 29th.
5. The Bourne Legacy (TRAILER)-I'm not sure how this goes because umm Matt Damon is wonderful, but I'm willing to give Jeremy Renner a chance, especially after seeing him in The Avengers. It comes out August 3rd.
6. The Great Gatsby (TRAILER)- I love the novel, so I'm hoping this movie can possibly do it justice. There are several things I have mixed feelings about, but I'm willing to give it a chance (cause the trailer does look good). It comes out Christmas day.
7. Les Miserables (TRAILER)-I'm not a huge fan of Anne Hathaway, but she sounds good in the trailer, and I'm already loving Hugh Jackman in it. It comes out December 14th.
8. The Perks of Being a Wallflower (TRAILER)- It looks really good and yay for Emma Watson in something that's not Harry Potter (although boo American accent). It comes out September 20th.
9. Wreck-It Ralph (TRAILER)- It looks kind of funny and entertaining. It comes out November 2nd.
10. ParaNorman (TRAILER)-I always like zombie things, and this looks cute. It comes out August 17th.
11. Django Unchained (TRAILER)-It's a Quentin Tarantino film, but the trailer does look good. It comes out Christmas day.
12. People Like Us (TRAILER)-Ummm Chris Pine. The end. It comes out June 29th.
13. Life of Pi (No official trailer yet)- I really like this book, so I'm hopefully for the film adaptation. It comes out November 21st.
14. Rise of the Guardians (TRAILER)-I know nothing about this, but apparently it's based off a book, the trailer looks good, and all of the voices are actors I like (ummm Chris Pine again!). It comes out November 21st.

Well those are all the ones I'm excited for. Click HERE for a list of all the movies that are scheduled (or have already come out) for 2012. Let me know if there's one you're excited about that I missed or that you agree or disagree with me on!

2012 Is The Year For Movies--Part 1

I realize the year is half way over already, but I have been excited for the movies that were slated to come out in 2012 since like last summer. I'll admit, some I was super excited for and they ended up being a bit disappointing (I'll talk about those too), but for the most part all of them have lived up to the hype.

I hear that 2013 is going to be awesome too, but let's just focus on this year (after all... I hear this is our last anyway, so guess Hollywood knew that and decided to do the best they could to make it a great year before the apocalypse.)

This post ended up turning out to be way longer than I thought (there's been a lot of movies, guys, give me a break), so I broke it up into two parts. This is Part 1 (movies that have already been released):

Let's start off with the fantastic movies that have already been released that, in my opinion, if you still haven't seen them, you really need to rethink your priorities.

First up is The Hunger Games:


I absolutely loved the books, and the movie does an amazing job. Even if you've never read the books, I think you would still enjoy the movie. Everything is very well done, the cast is PERFECT, and like I just absolutely loved it. The only thing that bugged me was a few of the effects/camera angles and techniques, but other than that it was amazing. I wanted to see it again but I was still in school so I wasn't able to, but as soon as it comes out on DVD, I'm buying it.

The second that should really be first, but I'm going by what came out earlier, is The Avengers:



Like, guys. I cannot express to you enough how much I loved this movie. It has everything, action, humor, hot men, mystery, a bit of love, and did I mention hot men? I feel like everyone has seen this, but I still come across people that tell me they still haven't seen it yet, and I'm completely flabbergasted and tell them they're not allowed to speak to me again until they do.

I HAVE SEEN IT FIVE TIMES (3 times in 3D, which is SUPER cool and if you can I recommend you see it, and twice in 2D). DOES THAT NOT TELL YOU ANYTHING???? (I honestly don't think I've seen a movie in the theaters that many times before, and for 4 of the 5 times it was in a period of 24 hours that I saw it, 2 in one day and 2 in another. And all of those times I paid with my own money.) I cannot stress to you enough how much your life has been lacking without seeing this movie. Ok... I'm done now. Go see it so we can be friends.

Those two are the ones that I endorse the most, the following are ones that I thoroughly enjoyed but I won't force you to go see them in order to be my friend.

While we're sticking with things that have already come out, the following are movies that might not have gotten a lot of hype, but that I was excited for and thoroughly enjoyed:

1. This Means War (TRAILER)-It has Chris Pine, Thomas Hardy, and Reese Witherspoon, I think you can probably already guess why I enjoyed it so much (hint: CHRIS PINE). But it was actually quite funny, Chelsea Handler is in it and she was hilarious. And yes, I did buy the BluRay/DVD combo pack already.
2. Moonrise Kingdom (TRAILER)-It is a VERY Wes Anderson film, but it was funny and thoroughly enjoyable. The main character (boy) was very entertaining and everyone did a great job, really. I highly recommend it.
3. Men in Black 3 (TRAILER)- I was a little hesitant about this when I first heard they were making another MIB movie (I never saw the 2nd one cause I heard it was so terrible), but then I saw the trailer and I wanted to go see it. I liked it a lot. I will say though that like everything I've seen after The Avengers has been hard to be enthusiastic about because it's not The Avengers, but I liked MIB 3. And really, you should just see it for Josh Brolin's SPOT ON impression of Tommy Lee Jones. He did an amazing job, y'all. Also, any Flight of the Conchords fans will recognize the villain, cause it's Jermaine!
4. The Five-Year Engagement (TRAILER)-Like this was funny and uber cute, and just Jason Segal and Emily Blunt are just perfect together. It was a very good movie with a very touching storyline.
5. 21 Jump Street (TRAILER)-Now I only just recently saw this one, and I had waited cause it looked a bit dumb to me, but both of my brothers and several friends told me it was hilarious so I saw it when it got to the dollar theater. Yes it was kind of ridiculous, but I was laughing at everything. And of course Johnny Depp has a cameo that I knew was coming but how he came out I totally was not expecting. Also, I think I might like Dave Franco better than his brother James.

The following movies I meant to go see or are meaning to see but I haven't yet, but I will:

1. The Secret World of Arrietty (TRAILER)- My brother says it's awesome, so I'm waiting for him to buy the DVD of it so I can borrow it from him. :)
2. The Lorax (TRAILER)- I've just always loved Dr. Seuss and this story, so I'll end up seeing it eventually some how.
3. The Cabin in the Woods (TRAILER)-Umm it's a Joss Whedon film, may I remind you that he wrote and directed The Avengers? Yeah. Also Chris Hemsworth is in it. I may just wait till my horror fan co-worker buys it and borrow it from him. :)
4. Bernie (TRAILER)-You guys know how much I love me some Jack Black. I first heard about this movie because a couple of the actors that are in it acted in one of my classmate's final project for my acting class. Then a friend of mine went and saw it and told me she loved it and thought it was hilarious. So I'm going to try to go see it while it's still in theaters. Anyone want to join me?
5. The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (TRAILER)-It has some of my favorite British people (Dame Judi Dench AND Maggie Smith y'all!) in it and for me that's reason enough to go see it.

And now on to the disappointing stuff. The following movies I was so excited for but they turned out to not be worth all the hype:

1. The Woman in Black (TRAILER)-Now I wouldn't say I didn't like this movie, but I was expecting it to be a lot more scarier than it was. It was great to see Daniel Radcliffe in something that wasn't Harry Potter, but other than that it was more suspenseful than scary (if that makes sense). It wasn't terrible, but it wasn't really what I was hoping for.
2. Dark Shadows (TRAILER)-I had high hopes for this one after seeing the trailer. I mean it looked hilarious. Yeah... all those funny parts in the trailer? Only funny parts in the movie and even those gags were overdone and reused which made them no longer funny. I mean I think the actors did a good job, but the plot wasn't very clear and ran long in some parts, and the twist was kind of dumb and a little too late in my opinion. Perhaps Johnny Depp and Tim Burton should take a break from each other for a while?

The following I was pretty excited about, but after hearing reviews and opinions from friends and family, I think I'll pass on them:

1. Mirror Mirror (TRAILER)-I was mildly intrigued by it, but I heard it was kind of odd. I might end up seeing it eventually, but we'll see.
2. The Pirates! Band of Misfits (TRAILER)-I was super excited to see this, but my friend told me she was kind of disappointed with it. I think I am going to see this eventually (I'm a sucker for any movie that has David Tennant, and he's one of the voices), but I'll wait till it gets to RedBox.
3. The Raven (TRAILER)-I like John Cusack. I like Edgar Allen Poe. I like mystery. So of course I was excited about this. But I heard kind of bad reviews on it, so I never did end up seeing it. This one I'll probably wait for it to be on cable and I'll watch it at my parents' house.
4. Snow White and The Huntsman (TRAILER)-I was on the fence on this one. Part of me was really excited because hello Chris Hemsworth! Charlize Theron! but hesitant because umm Kristen Stewart. My family went and saw this and they all told me that the effects were cool and Charlize and Chris do a great job and Kristen was tolerable but that the plot was bad. I might try to see this too if anything just to see Chris Hemsworth and the effects, but let's just say I'm not going to try that hard.
5. Prometheus (TRAILER)-I am actually going to be seeing this on Wednesday, but I have a groupon and it expires soon and this is the only thing playing that I haven't already seen and was kind of intrigued to see. I'll be honest I'm really only going to see Michael Fassbender, but I've heard pretty bad reviews of it and a coworker told me he thought it sucked. (Which is sad cause this was one I was excited about too.) So... I'll let you know how it goes.

Part 2 will have all the movies that I'm excited for that have yet to come out!

I Survived Y'all!

It's official, y'all. I am now the proud owner of a Master's of Arts Degree in Emerging Media and Communications.

This is my dear friend Syd. We're also known as For Reals (we remixed a song for our first class and have been friends ever since).

Oh, and in case you were curious I also made all A's for this semester, so YAY! The graduation ceremony was a week ago (if you want to read about my initial thoughts on the matter CLICK HERE), and since then I have been doing nothing but going to seeing movies (and a play) and catching up on all the TV shows I got behind on because of school (and reminding myself of others).

It's been AWESOME.

The last shows I need to catch up on are Being Human (US), Fringe, and Psych. I had like 60 something shows in my Hulu queue, and as of now I have 20. I consider this a small victory for myself.

And once I'm done with the shows I had already been watching, my next objective is to start watching the shows that I've heard so much about but hadn't wanted to start (Downton Abbey for example).

I have so many other things that I'm super excited about and want to tell you though.

So, be prepared because I'm getting back into blogging now that I'm done with school (and almost done catching up on my TV shows). I hope y'all have a fantastic Memorial Day, and look forward to the following posts that I'm going to try really hard to put up soon:

• 2012 is the YEAR for Movies (what I'm excited for)
• A Guide to Midnight Showings
• The man blog I started with my friend Anna (it's delightful, you should check it out now)
• A few projects I have coming up/want to do, including a podcast, and possibly an online radio station
• How I'm seeing Benedict Cumberbatch in an encore broadcast of Frankenstein
• The Road to Comic Con

That's what I have planned for the moment. In the meantime, feel free to read these couple entries I had put on my Tumblr about my wonderful coworker: CLICK HERE and HERE. Really you should take a gander at my Tumblr every now and then cause I always put funny stuff up there (or at least what I think is funny). :)

Anyway, I'm glad to be a normal social and functioning human being again! I've missed you guys!!!

1 Class Down, 2 more to go

I finished all the work for my creative performance today and now I can sit back and relax.

Well not really. I got a ton of stuff for my other two classes (thesis and screenwriting), but at least I don't have to worry about this other class. And because I know you guys TOTALLY want to hear my final project, here it is:

It's an audio play about a tour guide at a metal kazoo factory (It's 17 minutes FYI... hey... it's a play okay?!):

And because I know you guys ALSO want to hear about the crazy-ness that happened after I presented it to the class and to hear about a RIDICULOUS person in my class who also presented her project... (really it's a good story), you should click on the link below for my Tumblr post about it cause it comes complete with hilarious GIFS that adequately express my emotions (also you should read the tags at the bottom because they also add to the story and give you a better picture why I think this person is ridiculous):

CLICK HERE

Okie doke... that is all for now.

Just like 3 more weeks and I'm DONE. THREE MORE WEEKS.

It All Started With That Damn Squirrel

Two posts two days in a ROW!! I'd just like to preface this with saying, don't expect me to be posting everyday now. Today was just too weird of a day and I had too great of a story to not tell you what happened. After this I'll go into hiding again till the end of the semester. Promise.

This morning, on my way to work, I hit a squirrel.

I tried to slow down, but it was just going too fast and then I distinctly heard a thud. (Gosh, if I'm in my car, animals should just stay away. Things never work out well for them.)

I felt a tinge of sadness and guilt for hitting it, but it's not like it was enough for me to do anything. I continued on to work and carried on with my day and forgot about the squirrel for the most part.

Should have known that squirrel was a sign of how the day would go.

At lunch, I purposefully avoided looking at some lady? (I don't know I wasn't looking at her/him remember?) who was begging for money, holding out her hat to cars that were at the stop light. I don't carry cash, so it's not like I had any to give anyway.

Another sign?

By the end of the day, I had forgotten all about both, and I was tired and ready to go home. I even thought to myself... perhaps I'll take a power nap before I have to go to a rehearsal (because I agreed to help a classmate with her final project; I clearly have a problem with telling people no).

FYI, that power nap never happened. Here's what did:


As I was leaving work, I turned right out of the parking lot and went about 20 feet before I was waved down by an older (probably in his 40s) African American man, wearing, oddly enough, a "Master Thug" shirt (as in Mastercard... get it?) (But I'll be honest, I didn't notice the shirt till later on, it just seemed interesting compared to what happened next. Also, I only added that he was black so you could get an accurate description. I really didn't care that he was black.) Next to him was what I assumed was his son, who looked like he was 17 or so. I pulled over and rolled down my window to see what was up.

He asked if I had a jack that they could borrow because they had a flat tire. Seemed like an innocent enough request to me and we were literally RIGHT in front of my work building, so I parked and pulled out the jack for him.

But then he told me they didn't have a spare tire to replace it with, which made me wonder why they needed a jack then if they didn't have something. The guy told me that he was just in the building to talk to a lawyer on the 12th floor, and he pulled out his paperwork to prove it to me (it looked legit... legit... like I even know? Ugh whatever.) He said he was trying to get a divorce, which is why he was there meeting with the lawyer. He told me he didn't have any money, and all he had was $2 (so he couldn't buy a tire either), which he gladly offered me several times (I didn't take it).

After making excuses myself (I had to get to class, I didn't have any cash) and having them not work, I said I could drive him to the tire place, which was down the street (about 3 minutes away) and drop him off. So, he left his son to watch the car (which was now on my jack) and he came with me to the tire place.

Now before you start lecturing me about how this was a terrible idea, I get it okay. There were tons of things I should have done differently or not done... I understand. But this is what happened. And I'd like to think that if it hadn't been what I should be doing, I would have gotten a sinking feeling about him or the situation. But I didn't. So I carried on... as you should do now with my story:


On the way to the tire place he tells me his nickname is Mike but his given name is Columbus "like the explorer Christopher" (got it) and that he's not from around there so he doesn't really know where he is because he's from the Garland/Dallas/635 area. I tell him my name is Mattie, but that's it. He then proceeds to tell me that he's trying to get a divorce from his wife who he hasn't seen in awhile because she ran off with another woman (WHAT? Did I hear that right?). And he's trying to get the divorce done so that he can marry the boy's (the 17 year old that was with him) mother. He also tells me how much he has to pay for rent etc. and how much he had to pay for the lawyer (you know clearly illustrating to me that he has no money to buy this tire).

So the first trip to the tire place (that's right I said first as in there were multiple trips), we go and borrow a lug nut wrench from the tire people because mine wouldn't fit on their car (and luckily the tire dude was SUPER nice in letting us just take it.) And then I decide I'll be super nice and drive him back. He asks the tire dude how much a used tire will be ($35), and he looks at me wondering what I'll say.

I don't know what happened. I guess I thought... $35 isn't too much; this guy looks pretty sad and he just wants to get a divorce from his gay soon to be ex wife so he can marry this other chick and be a dad to this kid. I don't know. I don't know okay.


And so I told him it was fine and I'd buy it for him. He practically jumped for joy and said he had to serve me and stopped me from opening my own car door so he could hold it open for me. We drove back to his car, and I waited for him to take the tire off, and we then drove BACK to the tire place. I bought him a new tire and then drove back to his car so he could put it on.

The little trips were probably the most interesting because he told me about how he always had a feeling his soon to be ex was gay but he could never prove it. I asked how he found out (hey he was already sharing and I was kind of curious... hello I was thinking of you guys. I wanted a good story. Ugh... me and my writer inclinations dang it.). He told me he was in prison (Ummm what? Yeah I didn't ask him this time and he didn't share the reason.) and she had written him a letter telling him, and when he got out and came home he found her and realized it was all true.

He asked me how that could be. How could another woman just run off with another woman? He couldn't understand it and didn't know why people did that because God doesn't like that. God wouldn't make them that way on purpose would he? That's not what it says in the Bible... etc. (He went on but I really didn't say much or comment on anything he was saying... I just kind of said "I don't know" a lot and nodded and said "I understand." I'm also not commenting to you about this either because of other reasons, so just know these words were from him and I remained neutral and rather silent while he rambled.) He also told me about how he was taught to respect women and how a relationship is about doing things for each other and listening to each other. He said he knows how to treat his woman right, even in bed (Umm ok... TMI. Luckily this was the last trip back to the car and we were super close to it.) and then quickly added he didn't mean "no disrespect... but it's true." (Thank you for that.) He said he'd come visit me, I told him that was okay (I wasn't going to give him any kind of address because even though I had spent $35 and he could have theoretically paid me back, I didn't care enough to want to see this person ever again.)

I waited in the car for a bit while he changed out the tire and while his "son" was finishing up he came over to me.

Now this is what kind of made me wonder if I should have done what I did and helped him because the man had the audacity to ask me this.


He asked if he could have $5. I got kind of angry at this and thought he was pretty rude for asking considering everything I've done for him at this point. I told him again I didn't have any cash, and I couldn't give him any money. He said he wanted to buy cigarettes and I could use my card. (EXCUSE ME?) Not going to lie, I got pissed. I told him, "I am not buying you cigarettes. I just bought you a $35 tire, and I don't even know you." He could tell I was pissed at him for even asking and he quickly and profusely tried to apologize and say that I already did so much and it was fine and he was just asking and it's okay.

He finished putting the tire on, gave me my jack back, and then I left (with the hope and his promise that he'd take the wrench from the tire place back. I sure hope he did.).

So here's my question to you... in a world where everyone is distrusting of everyone else, where there are so few occasions where others do good deeds because we feel like they are just scamming us, or where we judge someone based on what they look like or how they are dressed, was I being too trusting? Should I have just said "Sorry sucks to be you; I have to go, give me my jack back"? Should I have just ignored his waving and kept driving because he didn't look how a "trustworthy" person looks? Was I being a good samaritan or was I a sucker and being played for a fool by the "Master thug"?

I'd like to think that I was doing the right Christ-like thing and because of that the Lord was watching out for me and made sure nothing bad went down, but honestly I don't know the answer myself.

But what I do know is that it was all because of that damn squirrel.

It Ended Where It Began

Um... so... hey guys!

Remember me?

Hey, I did say I wouldn't be able to post much till after I was done with school, and really I shouldn't even be typing this, but I'm hoping writing this out will help get my mind focused.

I have about 3 weeks till the end of my grad school career.

It's crazy, right?

And it's ending how it began.

With an emotional breakdown.

If you recall, when I started my grad school career I had so many problems with administrative type issues (financial aid and what not) that I broke down and started crying, worried that if I couldn't handle this, maybe I wasn't cut out for grad school after all.

And, now, I am so close to the end I can see it, and I'm almost there.

But there is so much I have to do before I get to the end. Once it all caught up to me, my stress was through the roof and I pretty much just lost it.

This happened a week or so ago, so I'm a little better now, but I'm probably just as stressed (if not more so since I'm a week from the deadline on most of these things).

It was a combination of many factors (which is always the case in emotional breakdowns, am I right?), that involved work, school, and church, and I almost gave up and just wanted to abandon everything. I called my mom and broke down in tears telling her I couldn't do it (ugh I'm tearing up now just thinking about it).

And even though my mom likes to criticize me sometimes (her way of trying to get me to be better, which I get), instead she told me that I could and that I needed to sit down and make a list of everything I needed to get done and what I had to do to complete that list (my mom, always the practical one).

Isn't it great how moms always seem to know what you need?

I'm still stressed, but I've made a lot of progress, which is important. But, this week and next I'm just going to be a grumpy, distracted, stressed out mess. I have a final project (which is almost completed) and accompanying paper due (not too stressed about that part but should probably write it sometime before then...) on the 16th for my acting class, and the 1st draft of my thesis is due on the 20th (yeah my blog which I have NO posts up for... this is the thing I'm freaking out about the most).

After the 20th, I'll be a little more personable and friendly... because after that I'll just have to do my thesis presentation and accompanying reflection paper (to wrap everything up), and then my 90 page script (of which I currently only have 26 pages of because I had to REWRITE the 36 pages I had.... yeah that was one of the things that contributed to the emotional breakdown) for my screenwriting class is due on the 10th.

Then graduation is on the 19th.

And then I'll have a Master's of Arts in Emerging Media and Communications from the University of Texas at Dallas.

Yeah... I know...

I'm terrible.

I'd like to claim that life has been really busy (which is not that far from the truth actually), but I've still managed to find the time to blog on Tumblr. So...

Y'all aren't mad at me about that, are you? You know I still love you. I do.

Please forgive me.

I'll be honest though, now that spring break is over and classes start up again and I only have about a month and a half left of the semester, I'm not sure how often I'll be back on here before the semester ends.

I shall try my best, but no promises. However, before I go away, I wanted to give you some highlights and updates in case you don't follow my Twitter/Tumblr and don't know what's going on in my life:

• Remember how I had posted about me being all cool and academic? This week I got to publish another post with In Media Res on the TV Show "Once Upon A Time." It can be found here: CLICK HERE
• This Thursday I'm going to the midnight showing of The Hunger Games and I'm so freakin' stoked to see this movie.
• This Saturday I have my presentation with my friend at a grad student symposium that I'm both equally nervous and excited for.
• This Sunday I may get a chance to meet the author of one of my all time favorite books as a child, The Phantom Tollbooth. This was the book that made me want to go into English and want to be a writer/editor. He's going to be at the Meyerson as the Dallas Symphony Orchestra performs the premiere pieces of two songs inspired by two of his books.
• If you didn't see on my various social networking sites, my whole family is going to ComicCon in July and I'm soooooooo excited for this you have no idea. AND the first day is ON MY BIRTHDAY. So it's a combined birthday and graduation gift to myself. :)
• My thesis is now a research blog, and I would love for you all to check it out and add it to your RSS feeds and comment on posts etc. (It's not very pretty at the moment and it only has one post so far cause I'm still working on it.) You can find it here: CLICK HERE
• I have now become a huge fan of Supernatural, more specifically Jensen Ackles, and I'm slowly but surely working my way through the seasons with my friends. (Although my mom wants me to hurry and finish cause she is now all caught up with the current season, 7th season mind you, and wants to talk about it. It took her about a month to get through them, and I'm in season 3. Yeah.)

And that's basically what's been going on in my life so far. I hope you guys are doing well and that you're not too angry that I've been slacking on this blog. I LOVE YOU.

Recap of the Week

Well I'm sad to report that nothing TOO dramatic happened (bahahahaha you know cause it's a drama class???) in my acting class this last Monday. We had some experimental performance artist come and present on her work which was... interesting. Then we only had time for 4 people in the class to present their own performance pieces because our professor kept talking and then making them change and redo stuff after each person. I felt so bad for one girl because she read a story she had written, which was beautiful and touching, but because she hadn't "performed" it and just read it, the professor made her redo parts of it and do it different ways over and over again. She is already a super quiet girl, and an undergrad no less (in a grad class), and she looked like she might burst into tears by the end of it.

The only thing that made me mad was that our professor held us over. I mean it's already a 3 hour class that gets out at 9:45 pm, so holding us till 10 and then telling us not to pack up when it's past time is kind of annoying. I didn't get to perform my piece, so now I get to re-memorize it, and hopefully I'll get to do it tomorrow. I'll let you know how that goes.

As for the rest of the week:

• My roommate and I bought a bunch of fancy cheese and it was delicious. CLICK HERE
• I finally watched The Walking Dead, and it is pretty much awesome. CLICK HERE
• I kind of love my screenwriting class (and lucky for me, those annoying people dropped the class, so there's only 11 of us now), and I love the idea I have for my script. I'm just hoping that I can execute it well.
• My family really likes to group text, which ends up being hilarious. CLICK HERE
• I did my first of three presentations to my professors on my thesis, and afterwards it turns out I'll be doing a blog instead of a huge paper, which I'm kind of more than okay with. I'll probably still have to write a paper, it just won't be 40 pages. :) Once I get the blog for it up and running, I'll let you know about it.
• Speaking of academic stuff, March is going to be crazy because I got accepted to curate another piece for the online journal In Media Res (like I did HERE only this time it's just me), and I'll be presenting my paper then too.
• Yesterday we celebrated my roommate's birthday and ate delicious sushi and saw The Woman in Black, which I thought was good and not as scary as you might think.
• I made some scones today, and they were delicious. CLICK HERE

And I did sort of not really pay attention to the Super Bowl or the commercials. I mean, I know who won (the Giants), and I saw some commercials... But, really I only ever watched the Super Bowl for the commercials anyway, and now that you can see most of the commercials before hand and afterwards on Hulu, I just don't even bother watching them as they air now.

That was pretty much my week. I will warn you now though, I've been slacking pretty badly on my thesis work, and so I may not update very much. I'm going to try really hard because I enjoy blogging as it kind of gives me a break, but no promises. I have a stack of about 30 books I need to go through, so I'm not going to have much of a life outside of that for a while. Wish me luck!

The Final Frontier

Like I do at the beginning of every semester, this is my analysis of the first day of my classes. This semester I have my capstone/thesis course/paper to work on (YAY!), and then I'm taking two other classes.

The first is a screenwriting class, which I had last week. The professor seems pretty cool, and it looks like we'll be watching a lot of film clips, which if you know me, you know I'm totally okay with. We'll also be reading full screenplays as well, and since I've never actually read a full screenplay I'm kind of excited for it. I can already tell that there are going to be a few people in there that are going to annoy me though.

For example, the professor said that we are going to be focusing on films (no TV shows) and have them in a 3-act style. He then asked if everyone was familiar with a 3-act play, and everyone pretty much nodded and a few people rose their hands. He called on one of the dudes who rose his hand, and the guy says, "Well, do you mean theatre or films?" (And PS I spelled it that way on purpose because that is how this dude is acting. Like a pompous know-it-all.) And the professor says, "Well, either." Then someone else says, "Umm doesn't it just mean it has a beginning, middle, and an end?" To which the professor says, "Yes." Do you mean theater or film? Seriously, dude? Get over yourself. But other than that, I'm excited to see what I come up with. I have a few vague ideas, which is apparently okay for the moment since we just have to come up with premises. I'll let you know what happens. I will say though, the professor did say, no vampires.... or zombies. So there goes those ideas! (KIDDING! Totally wasn't going to write about either of those.)

The other class is titled Creative Performances, and because I could not type fast enough what I wanted to tell you about the ridiculousness of this class, I recorded me talking about it. Yes, it is 10 minutes long, for which I only partly apologize. But seriously guys, the class was INSANE, you're really going to want to listen to all of it because it just gets better and better. I like can't even believe what happened. So much so... that it might become a regular weekly segment on the blog. Yes, it's that good. LISTEN TO IT:

Rant about my class by missnesbit

Then of course the Master's thesis, which if you want to hear about the fun starting on that CLICK HERE. It's going to be a great semester, full of writing, and hilarity, and if I can make it through to the end, I'll be DONE!!!!

Let's hope I can hold on. :)

Because This Is SUPER Important

I'm sure you probably have heard and/or noticed that several sites (including mine) are blacked out/shut down/have pop ups that tell you to contact your congressman to help stop the SOPA and PIPA bill. I can't express enough how devastating this will be if these bills pass as they are. Basically the Internet that we know and love will be censored and shut down. I don't want to go on a rant about copyright law, censorship, and piracy, so I will just stop now (cause y'all know how passionate I am about this issue).

If you are confused at all about what this means or why you should care, watch this video:


PROTECT IP / SOPA Breaks The Internet from Fight for the Future on Vimeo.

Help do your part by protecting your digital freedom of speech and the Internet and contact your congressman.

For more info and to tell your congressman CLICK HERE.

Look At Me Being All Academic

I helped write/curate a paper about America's Next Top Model for In Media Res, an online journal of sorts, and it got published today! See?

CLICK HERE

I'm like totes published/famous now. (Not really, but it makes me feel special and scholarly.)

I'm even thinking about submitting another piece soon (on my own) for this journal. If it gets accepted, don't worry, I'll totally let you know.

Not to mention, in March, I'll be presenting with a friend of mine a paper/project we did in our first semester of our program at a grad student symposium.

Look at me... I'm all academic and stuff.

And I get to be more so because my LAST semester starts next week. WOOT!

When I Wander Around Anthropologie

This is what I think about (it's on my Tumblr):

CLICK HERE

In other news, I only have a few more weeks till my last semester starts and instead of trying to get things ready (like I was supposed to have all break) for my thesis, like you know finding books and articles and get the groundwork laid out), I'm trying to watch as much TV as possible.

Nothing is left in my Hulu queue, I'm all caught up on Doctor Who, and US Being Human, and a couple other shows that I had postponed watching because of school. I guess I'm trying to make my break as fulfilling as I can.

If only I didn't have to go to work, then I'd have TONS of time to watch tons of shows.

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!

My new year's this year wasn't all that exciting although I had multiple events I could have attended/did attend. I think what it was was that I didn't get to hang out with the people I really wanted to be with, although the people I did end up being with were lovely, so it was fine. But it wasn't as great as I was hoping, you know?

Oh well. There's always next year I suppose.

The point is that it is now 2012, and I have exciting things planned/coming up for this year. It's going to be awesome.

See, even the Doctor agrees and thinks you will have a great year too!