I Clearly Have A Problem

After today, it has become clear to me that while I am in my car I am subconsciously a bird killer. Let me explain.

I went with my mom to Panera, and when we came out, my mom found this in the front of my car:

I don't know how it got there or when it actually happened, because it's not like I examine the front of my car every time I get in or out of my car (despite what they teach you in driving school). But, somehow I hit a small defenseless bird with my car and it got stuck.

But, if you'll recall, this isn't the first time I accidentally hit a bird with my car.

So, obviously, I am an accidental murderer of birds.

It's freakin' terrible, and I'll be honest I was more grossed out than upset about the bird (so maybe something is wrong with me!?) although I was upset about the bird too. But it gets better, I had to drive with the visible guilt evident on my car for at least 6 miles while my mom taunted me saying that other people were probably wondering why I had a bird stuck on my car, that it got sucked in after it pooped on my windshield and the like.

The worst part, though, was when my mom and I arrived at our final destination and we asked the older gentleman who was present to please remove it for me. So, he got a stick and flicked it out. Then he started swishing the stick around and all these feathers came out. Yuck.

What stinks is I just had my car washed. Now it's got bird poo, feathers, guts, and blood on it, AKA the evidence of my latest killing. Birds beware, you don't know when I'll strike next!