Most of you know that my love for Threadless shirts runs deep. It was a love affair that started back in college, and it has continued ever since. I first noticed a guy in my Spanish class wearing what I thought was a rather amusing shirt of two squirrels:
I asked him where he got it, and he directed me to the now beloved Threadless website. I took a gander at a few, but I was a poor college student and couldn't afford to buy humorous shirts, so I forgot about it. It wasn't until later that semester when another friend posted on her blog about the upcoming Threadless Holiday sale that I decided, why not?, and bought my first Threadless shirt:
It didn't fit quite right (which is probably why most of you have never seen me wear it), but I didn't let that stop me. I bought others, and now I have so many that I probably have enough to wear a different one every day for a month.
Well... do I? A few friends got me thinking about how many I actually have. So, let's count and see. Here are all the Threadless shirts I own in no particular order (besides the aforementioned "Vegetarians Are Eating the Rainforest" one):
This has seen better days and has some bleach stains, which is why I don't wear it too much.
This one I recently acquired in hoodie form.
It's not pictured, but at the bottom on the inside of the shirt there are 4 other little monsters (which is what the arrow is pointing to).
Another one that doesn't fit quite right, so I don't wear it much.
Ok, I think that's all of them. Counting the vegetarians one, I own 18 Threadless shirts (including 1 hoodie). So not enough for a month, but 10 shirts away from all of February on a non-leap year. A few I don't wear very much, but I still love them all the same. There have been others that I've wanted but they have been sold out and have yet to be reprinted, and there are others that I have bought for friends and family, too. I've even been tempted to buy a few prints, but at the moment I have nowhere to put them, so I've resisted.
Ok, so remember last post how I said I've been working on this school project and I was stressing and worried I might die? Well, I finally finished it (well at least the main part of it; I still have to write the one-page paper that goes with it). It took me 3 days, but it is complete. So, I thought I'd share. :)
The point of the project is to show a visual representation of my personal aesthetics, also incorporating quotes from the philosophers we've studied previously that support our definition of aesthetics. Let's see if you can guess what my definition is by watching the video:
What did y'all think? Believe me, it was hard for me to cut out and down some of these clips. I had many more video clips, like from Mother, Dead Poets' Society, and Bright Star and various other film favorites (when I had the raw footage of everything I wanted to include all together, it was 45 min. long). But, our teacher said it should be about 5 minutes, and this is 6:20 minutes. (I'm hoping she won't notice.)
If you couldn't tell from the video, what I see as beautiful is really anything that invokes or conveys an emotion, whether that's through music, color, landscape, or reality. The main thing is that I value things that portray reality and make me think or contemplate what it is I'm viewing and why I'm feeling the way that I am.
I just hope my teacher realizes that and gives me a good grade. I'm already having difficulties with this class/teacher (another blog post for another, less stressful time), so we'll see what happens.
I just wanted to post something real quick, mainly cause I'm avoiding doing homework... I mean I'm taking a break. :) I am alive, and if I can get past the 20th, I'll be doing much better stress-wise. I feel like I haven't done anything fun for a long time, which is why I'm really looking forward to this upcoming weekend. On Friday I get to hang out with my friends and watch Young Frankenstein (which I love), and then on Saturday we're going to the State Fair of Texas!
These last few weeks/weekends I've been cooped up in my house doing homework and reading and writing up stuff for school, and I have had little to no social interaction with anyone outside of school and work. Even though I'm trying to not think about the fact that this fun-filled weekend is the weekend before a presentation/project is due in both of my classes, I'm really hoping to just relax and not let that fact keep me from enjoying myself. Let's hope I can do it.
I don't know if you know this, but my favorite thing about school is when I learn something in one class and can form a connection from it to another class or to real life. I know it's super nerdy of me to say, but it really is something I love and I've missed it. When I was getting my undergrad, I loved being able to connect something I learned in one class to something I was learning in another (especially if it was within the same time period). I think it all goes back to when I was little:
When I was in preschool/daycare, as soon as I came home I would watch Sesame Street and then Batman (dun na nuna nuna nuna duna nuna nuna nuna BATMAN!). I thought it was the coolest thing ever when the letter they learned on Sesame Street was the same letter I learned at preschool! It didn't happen all the time, but when it did, I got so excited. I would shout out that I learned that letter too! Yeah... way cool.
Now, that I'm back in school again and really my classes are about making connections to what we are reading and studying about to what's going on in the real world, it's a little easier for me to recognize those connections. I still get excited though. It's like a brief little happy moment when I realize that I can relate something in the theory I'm reading to what happened to me last week or to a show I watched.
Want to see what I mean? Well, because I worked so dang hard on it and if you haven't done so already, you should check out my school blog post. It's all about the connections I recently had between my reading and a couple TV shows and movies.
Anyway... hope everyone is excited for the fall. I'm just hoping I won't die by the end of it. Let's hope these brief little happy moments can sustain me.
So lately I've been receiving the same message in everything I've read or heard. What is it? The importance of being yourself and also accepting others as themselves in turn. Last week I had finished reading a book that talked about this very thing, and then last Sunday at church, one of the speakers gave an excellent talk about loving yourself and loving others. Then, I read my little sister's blog about "Being us." (Side note: she also wrote another post right after that about sisters. It's cute and about me, and apparently without me she'd die. Who knew?)
Marin's post is a little random (very fitting since that's her blog title), but my favorite lines are the following:
"We think that if we have the cutest clothes or we are skinny and rich that we will be excepted (sic). But that is technically untrue. If we just embrace our differences instead of ignoring them we would be us, we would like our selves and if anyone says differently then they have a problem with themselves."
"We try to avoid people who aren't like us but we aren't any different."
"What is the thing you like most about you? mine would be my flaws because with out them I'm not me."
Clearly, someone up there is trying to get it through my thick brain that I need to be more accepting of myself and others. Ok! I get it. I'll try.
Ok, now the second reason why my brain hurts: school. Granted, I'm only taking 2 classes, but after this last week I feel like I'm taking 5 for all the thinking I've had to do. After 2 years of not being in school, my brain's not used to it, and this last week it was in shock. First... let's talk about my classes.
My first class on Monday nights is my Aesthetics of Interactive Arts class. Basically it means were talking about what makes certain things interactive, what makes them art, and what makes them beautiful or not etc. The first class was pretty boring. We went over the syllabus and then we all introduced ourselves. It's supposed to be a mostly discussion based class in which most of our grade comes from several presentations we'll be giving throughout the semester. The thing is, we meet in a computer lab. It's pretty hard to have a discussion when half the class you can't see because there are monitors blocking your view. The other thing is that half of the people in my class are nerdy, quiet, mostly Asian people that want to be video game designers. Discussions are going to be AWESOME.
I do have to tell you though, there was this one guy in the class that I had to keep myself from laughing at when he was introducing himself. He came off as one of those "intellectual, hipster" types of guys only it seemed like it was really all an act. He said that he was "really into photography and painting" and that he "loves digital painting because you could be in Arkansas but people all over the world could see your art because it was digital and online unlike painting a canvas where only a few people could see it." Then our teacher asked him what he was planning to do after he got his degree (a Master's mind you), and he replied, "Oh, I don't know. I guess I'll go to New York and just try to hawk my paintings and photographs and just see what happens." Really? You're getting your Master's so you can go to NYC and hawk paintings? You don't need a Master's to do that. What's stopping you, buddy? Go do it now. Please.
Anyway, our second class was ridiculous because our teacher wanted to discuss what could be called interactive and it turned into a debate between a few students. I don't want to imply anything but it was the older adults in the class who were arguing that viewing a painting was interactive because you came away affected after viewing, but then the couple of young nerdy guys (one in particular actually) were arguing that the painting isn't changed and therefore it could not be considered interactive because interactive requires an exchange between two systems blah blah blah. There was one point where I leaned back in my seat and made a face of exasperation which the 3 or 4 people around me laughed at but then reciprocated that they too were tired of listening to it. Yeah... it was a fun class. Not. I'm glad it was Labor Day cause we didn't have class. But... the next time we meet our presentations are due. Anyone know anything about Suzanne Langer?
My next class meets on Wednesdays, and it's my Intro to Emerging Media and Communications. Now this one I'm a little more excited about, which is good since it's the program I'm going into. The teacher seems way cool and everyone in the class seems a little more communicative and easier to get along with. There are more people that have a communications background, and I don't feel quite as dumb around these people like I did with the video game programmers in my other class. Aside from a few that were rather self-promoting the first class (which I found a little more than annoying), I think it's going to be a good class. The first class we did the usual, syllabus, introductions, and then we read an article to kind of introduce the class. (To see my reaction to the article, check out my school blog.)
The second class, however, we were required to read Heidegger's and Marcuse's theories on technology and man and society. It was some pretty dense and confusing theories, and after reading it (some parts after several rereadings) I don't think I understood it at all. I came to class confused, and as it turns out, I was not alone. The rest of my classmates were pretty confused too. What made it great was that our professor, after we had expressed our confusion, said that when she was reading it she wondered why she had even assigned it. Awesome. Anyway, we kind of worked through it together using a board and diagramming the theory etc. After it was all said and done, my brain was hurting from doing all that thinking and analyzing what the heck these philosophers meant in their highfalutin language.
Hopefully my classes will get easier, I doubt it, but I can hope. WOOT GRAD SCHOOL!
I've been meaning to update y'all about school, but these last couple weeks have been crazy and ridiculous and basically my brain has been hurting. Want to know why? Well... let's start at the top:
Let's first separate the two reasons why my brain has been hurting. One deals with class, the other deals with the crappy bureaucracy and regulations that is the UTD financial aid/bursar's office. Part 1 is the latter...
Thinking that my tuition should already be taken care of because I had accepted various loans and grants from Financial Aid, I didn't really worry about it too much until I noticed that my account a few days after the money was supposed to be disbursed wasn't showing up. I thought it was odd but thought... well maybe it just takes awhile to register. UTD has been I found out pretty slow in everything it does.
But, by Monday (the 3rd day of classes) it was still not showing up and I started worrying. I called the financial aid office on Monday and the machine said that wait times on the phone would take a long time so I should email them because it'd be faster. Ok, I thought, so I did. (Just so you know, as of today, I have yet to receive an email back and I sent both the general financial aid office address and the counselor over my part of the alphabet an email 2 and a half weeks ago.) Figuring that their machine was lying to me, I decided I would call them and just suffer through the wait time. I called them as I left work on Tuesday and as I pulled up to my house (a half hour later) they answered.
Apparently it was good that I called. They were holding my funds because I was registered as a full-time student, but I wasn't taking enough hours to be a full-time student. The lady then said it can be easily fixed I just have to send them an "Hours Adjustment" form, and once they process it, the money will go through. Ok, I thought, easy fix, no problem. As soon as I hung up the phone with her I printed out the form (I won't go into how ridiculous I thought it all was) and faxed it to them. Then on Thursday (when still nothing was showing up), I thought, I should call them just to make sure they got my fax.
So again, I called on Thursday as I left work. This time after 40 min. and I had changed clothes and was getting ready to head to the gym, they answered. Guess what they said? They didn't receive my fax. The chick couldn't find it. Ok fine, I will fax it again on a real life fax machine (I had used the computer before), and the lady on the phone assured me that my form would be processed before the deadline to pay (the following Friday).
Friday morning I sent a fax, this time from an actual machine at work and decided I should call them right after I send it just to make sure. Yeah... on Fridays, their office doesn't open till 1pm. So, I waited around till a little after 1pm to call them up to make sure they got a fax. This time I was on hold for 47 minutes before someone answered, and... surprise, surprise, this chick tells me again that they didn't receive the fax. By this point I'm more than angry since I've sent this form twice already and both times it hadn't gotten received. Realizing my frustration the girl tells me to scan it in and email it directly to her.
Well either I missed a zero in her email or she missed one, but I had a heck of a time emailing it to her. But, with the help of a coworker and the student directory, I finally got the right email and sent her my stupid form. She emails me back saying she received it and says that it'll take 5 to 7 business days to process. Ummm... it better be processed by Sept. 3rd since that's the freakin' deadline. I of course emailed her a similar statement in a nicer way than that, and she responds that she can't guarantee it and that I should seek out alternative payment like paying out of pocket, setting up a payment plan, or getting an emergency tuition note from the school.
After a couple days of cooling off because I was so mad, on Sunday I decide, just to be on the safe side, I'll go ahead and get the emergency loan from the school and figured, it would get paid off when the financial aid money came in so it's not like I needed to really worry about paying it.
On Monday I check my account... my form got processed and my loan money has gone through. Except, it still says I owe the stupid emergency loan. I take a closer look at my account and they have halved all of my loans and grants that I had been awarded (which you then have to halve again for each semester). The problem is I had only accepted a little bit of one of the loans anyway cause I didn't need all of it, but they halved what I had accepted not what I had been awarded.
This is when I broke down and called my dad crying. My dad told me he'd go with me to the financial aid office to get everything straightened out the next day. I hung up, drove to class, and sat in my car and cried some more. Mainly because I was tired of dealing with this financial aid crap and worrying about it, but then it turned into me thinking maybe I wasn't cut out for a Master's if I couldn't even handle dealing with the financial aid crap. Not one of my finest moments.
On Tuesday morning, my dad came with me to the financial aid office and waited in line with me for an hour and a half, and then sat and waited another 15 to 20 minutes for one of the head-guys to get out of a meeting, and then talked to the head guy to get it all straightened out. Isn't my dad great? I did buy him lunch afterwards though, so maybe that's why he stuck around.
Anyway, even the head guy thought what had happened was weird and didn't make sense (there were some other charges showing up on my account that shouldn't have been there) and he went over to talk to a guy at the bursar's office who said the same thing. Lovely. But, the head guy fixed it, changed my loan amount (so that I would get a refund) and got rid of the weird charge. He was super nice and very understanding. He was from New York, so we chatted a little bit about it and about how I want to live there cause I'm an editor, etc. It was the one bright moment during this whole debacle.
Now, it's all taken care of, I've gotten my refund, I don't owe, and I don't have anything to worry about.... well at least with financial aid. School on the other hand is another matter.
Well, folks, the time has come. My first Master's class is on Monday. I'll admit, I'm both really excited and really nervous. I don't quite know what to expect. How much different will it be compared to my undergrad? How much more work is it? How will I not feel stressed ALL of the time? Will I ever have time to do something fun and not feel guilty cause I'm not studying?
I don't know; I don't know; I don't know; and I don't know are the answers to all these questions. Hopefully I'll figure out the real answers to these soon. But, I did get a little inkling to how one of my classes (I'm taking two, Aesthetics of Interactive Art and Intro to Emerging Media and Communications) is going to be because the professor (for my EMAC class) posted a tentative syllabus for us to look at. So, of course I read all of it. And this is what I discovered:
I'm required to have a twitter account (done), an email I check regularly (I have 2), and.... a blog (DONE!) Then I learned why I needed those things....
Blogging is 35% of my grade!!!!!! Then, another 10% is going to all of my classmates blogs, reading their posts, and commenting on them.
Ummmm what?
Yeah... ok....
I started thinking, oh no problem, already have a blog, but then I started thinking about what all I put on this here blog and about how... hmmm maybe I don't want my professor and classmates to read my personal musings. Not that I say really terrible stuff on here... but occasionally my posts are in fact rants... and while they are entertaining and cathartic, I might not want people that don't know me very well having access to them, at least before they get to know me.
So, after thinking about it a while, I decided to create an entirely new blog and twitter account just for school. You know as an attempt to compartmentalize and segregate my life. That and I figured you guys wouldn't want to read my 500-800 word posts every week on topics we've discussed in class (like society and media and how I feel about it).
This is the last step, in my opinion, on embracing your singleness (I'm all about keeping it simple), but if you are wanting a few more steps, check out this video below:
Now that you know why and how to start being okay with being single, it's time to have fun with it! Where is some place you've always wanted to travel to? What is something you've always wanted to do? Do it now while you're single because it will be a lot easier than when you're attached. For one, it will be cheaper. Paying for yourself to travel, eat, and shop is way cheaper than for two people. Also, when you travel with someone else, most times you will have to compromise with each other on what to do. Because while you can do a lot of stuff together, one of you is probably going to enjoy it more than the other.
When you're single and travel, you are on your own time table, and you get to do what you want to do because you don't have to accommodate anyone else. Case in point my trip to New York City. I went by myself, and I got to do the things I wanted to do and take my time doing them. I didn't feel rushed, and when I had decided I had seen all I wanted to at a certain place, I left. I didn't have to wait for someone, and I didn't feel guilty about wanting to leave when someone else wanted to stay longer. I had a blast, and I know that the trip still would have been fun had I gone with someone else. But, because it was just me, it was everything I wanted to do without any compromising. I loved it.
I have a friend who has a list of 30 things she wants to do before she's 30, which I think is awesome, and I really wish I had done that. I guess I still could actually. My point is, don't you have things you want to do or see while you are still able to? My mom has always said to me that she's glad that I'm doing things like going to New York or learning new skills and hobbies because she said she regrets not having done more things while she was still single. Now she's not saying she regrets getting married or anything, but she just wishes that she had taken advantage of her single years because doing those things become more difficult when you get married and then especially when you have kids.
Once you are married, yes you can do some things and most times you'll have the rest of your lives to do them in, but it'll be different. Comparatively, most people are single for such a shorter amount of time than when they are married. Take advantage of that time now, because who knows when Mr./Mrs. Right will come along. For those that have been single longer than you were hoping for/planning on, it's okay. Remember, you can still be happy and single! There are plenty of people that are in the same boat as you, although I'm sure sometimes it doesn't feel like it. You are terrific just how you are, and if you're doing all of these things in embracing your singleness, those times when you feel lonely aren't quite as bad or long. If you're feeling down, call me up. We'll commiserate together for a bit, and then we'll shake it off and have some fun. We'll be alone together. :)
It's okay to be single. Some are in this state longer than others, but while you're in it, enjoy it because you'll never know how long it will last or if you'll get it back. I found this video that is absolutely perfect, and I think is a great way to end my "Embracing Your Singleness" series. Enjoy!
The next step in embracing your singledom and learning more abut yourself is learning how to be okay with it.
Before that though, I'd like to address the married folks out there: We know you mean well and that you are just wanting us single folks to be as happy as you, but you should not say the following to us cause it'll only make us annoyed or feel worse (click here).
Ok, now my single friends: Our married friends are just trying to be helpful and want us to be happy. Just nod, smile, and ignore them if they are annoying you.
Part of how to be okay with being single is not to be angry or jealous of those around you that aren't. Granted, it's going to happen, but recognizing it and getting over the jealousy is better for you. The longer you stay jealous or angry about how you are single and someone else isn't, the longer you'll be single. Now why would you want to do that to yourself? You can be happy and be single. Believe me, it's possible. Those non-single folks were single once too; yes they might have forgotten, but it just takes a little reminding. But, they were once in your shoes, so give them a little credit and be a little more understanding when they try to give you advice. (Believe me I'm telling myself this too, not just you.)
So, we've established that you are not angry at those who are not single. Remember, this is about you not them. So being angry at them only hurts you. Ok, now back to you (he he he...): Start learning about yourself, what your likes/dislikes are. Just general ones at this point, not necessarily ones in relation to a significant other. (You'll get there eventually, but at the start, focus on you and general things.) Do you have any hobbies? Is there something you've always wanted to do or learn? Now is the time to learn/do those things because you're not distracted by someone else.
Start establishing who you are, figure out how you want your life to go. Is there a habit you've been meaning to break or one you want to start? Look at your life and re-evaluate it and change it if you don't like it. When you are single, it's easier to change your life, break habits, reach goals, and learn new things. Take advantage of that.
This is how you become okay with being single: learn more about yourself and what you like. Discover how you like your eggs. Once you do that, you're ready for the next step in embracing your singleness.
The first step to embracing your singleness is to realize it's okay that you are single. For some, it takes longer to come to terms with this fact and be okay. Some people are lost without being in a relationship, so they go into another (rebound) as soon as they can. If this is you, I say, take your time; revel in the fact that you are unattached.
Whenever I feel down in the fact that I am single, I just think about all the failing relationships in the world and how I'm glad I'm not in one. Ok, I realize this sounds terrible, but sometimes it gets me out of my "woe is me" pity party. I know of so many young couples that are getting divorced after only a few years of marriage. It's sad and horrible, but sometimes I feel like it's because they didn't take the time to really get to know one another.
At a certain age, we've all been told that the next step in our lives is to get married. So because that is the next logical step in our progression, they get married without really comprehending the reality of it all. Some are in love with the idea of being in love, and when they realize that marriage is work, they run home and decide they don't want to be married anymore. It wasn't what they thought it was going to be. Granted, I'm sure there might be other circumstances as to why they call it quits, but I am almost positive that in most cases what I'm talking about is the underlying problem.
When it's time to get married, you had better know your future spouse. Yes, you'll get to know him/her even more after you're married, but before then I hope you know him/her as much as you possibly can. Which then leads me to my next point: The only way you can really know your significant other is after you really know yourself. It's hard to know yourself very well when you're not single.
If you're dating, you'll always define yourself in terms of that relationship or that person unless you've already learned about yourself beforehand. And, if you continue to define yourself in terms of another, once that person leaves you'll have to start over again or at least fill that gap (perhaps with another person). Why would you want to keep doing that every time when you can do it once when you're single? Then, once you really know yourself, it makes it that much easier when you find yourself in a relationship. You won't waste your time since you'll know what will work for you and that is what you'll look for in a companion.
What do I mean? Well, have you seen Runaway Bride? In it, Julia Roberts' character always likes and does whatever her fiance at the time likes and does, and Richard Gere's character calls her out on it. Remember, she doesn't know what kind of eggs she likes? Well, it's not until after her and Richard Gere's failed attempt at marriage the 1st time around that Julia Roberts starts finding out who she is. She tries every kind of egg she can until she finds the one she likes. She does what she's always wanted to do: sell her unique lamps in New York City. She finds out who she is while she is single, and it is then that she realizes and decides that Richard Gere is what she wants. And it is when she's discovered herself that is she is ready to commit to marrying Richard Gere. Make sense now?
Ok, now that we've established why it's okay to be single (if you need more reasons, check out this), the next step is how to be okay with it.
You know how some Sundays you just kind of go through the motions, but then there are other Sundays where you actually pay attention and you get something out of the lessons you hear. Well, I'm sad to admit that I've had more of the former kind of Sundays lately, and I realize this is my fault. But, today, I don't know what it was, (perhaps I subconsciously decided to listen instead of play on my iPod) I had a very meaningful Sunday where I actually learned something.
In Relief Society our lesson was about Thomas S. Monson's talk "Finding Joy in the Journey." In the talk President Monson talks about a man in the Vietnam War who was shot down and captured:
In the 1960s, during the Vietnam War, Church member Jay Hess, an airman, was shot down over North Vietnam. For two years his family had no idea whether he was dead or alive. His captors in Hanoi eventually allowed him to write home but limited his message to less than 25 words. What would you and I say to our families if we were in the same situation—not having seen them for over two years and not knowing if we would ever see them again? Wanting to provide something his family could recognize as having come from him and also wanting to give them valuable counsel, Brother Hess wrote—and I quote: “These things are important: temple marriage, mission, college. Press on, set goals, write history, take pictures twice a year.”
President Monson continues saying, "Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows."
Our teacher then gave us each a piece of paper and asked us to imagine ourselves in a similar situation. What would we tell our families what we thought was the most important? This is what I wrote:
Family is important; spend as much time with them as you can. Cherish your friendships. Love with all your heart even when you think it might not be appreciated. Live the gospel because it is the one truth that will get you through this life and into the next. Serve everyone especially when you don't feel like it because that's when you need to serve the most. Laugh and be happy because life is too short not to.
She then asked us to think about our lives and if we are actually living what we think is important, and if we are not, change so that we are. So with that I ask you, what's important?
Last night, I was lucky enough to go with a friend to see a free pre-screening of Scott Pilgrimvs. The World. The same person that created Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz (which I've heard are hilarious, but have unfortunately never seen) directed and wrote Scott Pilgrim. You know, if that encourages you at all...
And for some more encouragement, here's the trailer:
This movie was A-MAZ-ING!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I absolutely loved it. It was hilarious and quirky and very original and creative and unique. Since this movie is based off a comic book, the movie is a mix between a video game and a comic book. It has scenes and shots that look like they were frames taken straight out of the graphic novel, and also battle scenes just like something that would be on Mortal Kombat or some similar video game. Remember when that 1st The Incredible Hulk movie came out and Ang Lee tried to make it like the comic book with triple frames etc.? Remember how it just looked dumb? Well Scott Pilgrim pulls it off and instead they look awesome. No really.
Now, I realize some of you might see this trailer and think, this looks stupid. But, you really need to just go with an open mind and just accept what happens. Suspend your disbelief, people! No, it's not reality, and you know what, that's ok.
It comes out Aug. 13th, and I highly recommend you go and see this movie. I don't say this very often, so you know it's a really great movie.
Random side note: They showed one preview before the showing, and it was this one:
I think the entire audience was slightly confused but open (you know, suspending their disbelief, giving it a chance) for the beginning. But, after the "suspense" and pure craziness started in the elevator, I think everyone was thinking, what is this? Who made this cause it looks stupid? And as soon as M. Night Shyamalan's name appeared on the screen, there was very loud audible sighs of exasperation and even some moans and groans of "Really?" Even I said out loud, "Oh of course" and rolled my eyes. It was HILARIOUS! And the 2 rows of movie critics that were also in the theater (especially the 2 I heard behind me) thought it was very telling. The one behind me said, "Wow. Just the appearance of his name brings exasperating sighs." Poor M. Night... perhaps he's loosing his touch?
With recent conversations (and even not so recent) that I've had with friends and family, I've decided on a new blog post series about being single. I realize this is nothing new to most of you, but I'll be talking about embracing your singleness and not fretting about the fact that you are at home watching Lost on a Friday night instead of on a date (that was not a poke and anyone in particular, I promise). We've all had tons of friends go off and get married and sometimes it feels like someone's getting married all the time and so we just don't want to hear about it any more. Many times, it just makes us feel down on ourselves. If they found someone, what's wrong with me? Well, I'm here to tell you: NOTHING!
In my opinion, while I'm sure being married is fun and an adventure in and of itself, being single is perfectly okay, too. My blog series will talk about why, what you can do while you're single that you can't when you're married, how to just enjoy this time in your life when you don't have to worry about someone else's future, etc. I'm excited because I think out of anyone, I probably need to hear this information the most.
So, to kick things off, Jason Derulo (you know the singer who has to sing his name at the beginninng of almost all of his songs) has a new song called "Ridin' Solo" that really encompasses my main idea of this blog series. I have posted the lyrics and the music video below. Enjoy.
Ridin' Solo by Jason Derulo
Yeeeeeyeeeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
I'm feeling like a star, you can't stop my shine,
I'm loving cloud nine, my head's in the sky,
I'm solo, I'm riding solo,
I'm riding solo, I'm ridin' solo, sooloooo.
Yeah, I'm feeling good tonight, finally doing me and it feels so right, oh,
Time to do the things I like,
going to the club everything's alright, oh,
No one to answer to,
no one that's gonna argue, no,
And since I got the hold off me,
I'm living life now that I'm free, yeah,
Telling me to get my self together
now I got my self together, yeah,
Now I made it through the weather
better days are gonna get better
I'm so sorry that it didn't work out I'm moving on,
I'm so sorry but it's over now,
the pain is goooone,
I'm putting on my shades
to cover up my eyes,
I'm jumpin' in my ride,
I'm heading out tonight,
I'm solo, I'm riding solo,
I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo.
I'm feeling like a star, you can't stop my shine,
I'm loving cloud nine, my head's in the sky.
I'm solo, I'm riding solo,
I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo.
Now I'm feeling how I should,
never knew single could feel this good, oh,
Stop playing miss understood,
back in the game, who knew I would, oh,
So flex how I spread my wings, loving myself makes me wanna sing, oh,
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Telling me to get my self together
now I got my self together, yeah,
Now I made it through the weather
better days are gonna get better
I'm so sorry that it didn't work out I'm moving on,
I'm so sorry but it's over now,
the pain is goooone,
I'm putting on my shades
to cover up my eyes,
I'm jumpin' in my ride,
I'm heading out tonight,
I'm solo, I'm riding solo,
I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo.
I'm feeling like a star, you can't stop my shine,
I'm loving cloud nine, my head's in the sky.
I'm solo, I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo.
I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo
yeah it's like S... O... L... O...
S... O... L... O... S... O... L... O...
Living my life and got stress no more,
I'm putting on my shades
to cover up my eyes,
I'm jumpin' in my ride,
I'm heading out tonight,
I'm solo, I'm riding solo,
I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo.
I'm feeling like a star, you can't stop my shine,
I'm loving cloud nine, my head's in the sky.
I'm solo, I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo.
I'm riding solo, I'm riding solo, sooloooo
So, ok, I'll admit, some of pet peeves cannot be helped by some people. There are some that do not have a complete handle on the English language, so while it bugs me, I try to let it go as best I can because even I am not perfect (shocking, I know). I also really don't like stupid people, but most times, these people cannot help it either, so again I try to not let it get to me too much (unless they pretend to be dumb on purpose, in which case I judge them even more). But, I do have one pet peeve that really gets me angry in most circumstances (and the ones that don't, I'll explain in a moment).
What is this pet peeve? Ok, here it is: I hate it when people ask me questions that they can look up or figure out for themselves.
Now, like I said earlier, there is always exceptions. If we are out somewhere and you can't remember the name of some movie and ask me (cause more than likely I'll know it), that's cool. If it's something that I'd probably know off the top of my head, no problem. I get it. It is those times that I don't have a problem with you asking me something. However, if you ask me something in which I have to look it up when you could look it up yourself, that's when I get angry.
Here's an example: I was on the road in the car when a friend texted me about something else. After answering her, I figured our little "conversation" was complete. But, then 5 minutes later I get another text from her asking me if I knew if some restaurant was in McKinney and where it was (completely unrelated to our previous conversation). Ummm... I don't live in McKinney, so I have no clue. But, here's the part that bugged me: This friend has an iPhone. This is the time you pull it out to figure out where this restaurant is. LOOK IT UP YOURSELF. That is why you have an iPhone for crying out loud!!! I said this to myself in the privacy of my car, so she doesn't know how peeved I was, and I only responded, "I don't know, sorry."
Example #2: I have a coworker who has now worked at the company for a year, which means he has handled at least 4 journal issues on his own now. However, every time he is nearing the final stages before his journal is printed (and I'm not kidding, it's been every time now), he comes and asks me what it is he has to double check on the issue. Really? You've already asked me this 3 months ago when your last issue came out, and 3 months before that, too. You've been working here for a year now, this should be old hat to you. And, if it's not... THERE'S A CHECKLIST ON THE COMPUTER!!!!! I'm serious, if he asks me one more time, I'm going to scream. Cause previously, I'm the super nice, "get along with everyone" employee that everyone thinks I am and knows me to be, so I've just answered his question every time and sent him on his merry way. His next issue's coming up... I'll let you know what happens.
I have other examples, but I think you get the point.
I feel like this happens alot at work because, I'll just come out and say it... most of my coworkers are lazy. And unfortunately, I'm too nice to tell them to go look it up for themselves, so I do it for them to answer their question. I can't tell you how many times in which they've asked something, like, so what day is the holiday we have off? or how do we do this process? or how do I find this? and I have to show them, look it up, or email them the process etc. that they had as much access to as I did. I realize I'm enabling them by doing it for them, but sometimes I feel like I'd rather just help them than cause waves by telling them to quit being lazy butts and look it up. There have been so many times in which I've wanted to just send them to this website.
I think the main reason I have this pet peeve is because of how I act when I come across a question. If I can't remember something or I'm curious about something, I'll research it to find out about it or look it up online so I can find out the answer. So, most times, I rarely ask people questions because I feel like I could probably figure it out myself. And in fact, I feel that's how I learn and remember it better; if I take the time to figure it out myself, it's more likely to stick. It's only those times when I can't find the answer, or someone other than me would know better how to handle the situation that I seek out help. I don't ask for help very often. I just feel like why waste someone else's time when you can just as easily do it yourself?
Don't worry, I'm not saying you can't ask me anything ever, but just be aware I might become annoyed with you if you ask me something that I believe you could find out for yourself. I'll still probably answer you, but I won't like it.
Ok, please tell me you've seen these Old Spice commercials. You have haven't you? Fine... I'll post a few for you. Here's the older one:
Awesome right? Ok, here is the most recent one:
Yes, these commercials are hilarious, but you know what? Old Spice has kicked it up a notch. How? Well they are having the Old Spice man (who's real name is Isaiah Mustafa) answer questions and respond to random people's comments on Old Spice's Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook pages (among other places). These responses are so funny! I couldn't stop watching them (and I was at work too!). There are a ton, and they keep adding more everyday.
Go to Old Spice's Youtube channel, and watch all of them because they will make you laugh so hard. Here are a few of my favorites:
Ok, I don't know how to figure out how to edit that one to make it my voice mail, but if one of you knows how, tell me so I can have it be my outgoing message! Monocle smile!
Who does indeed.
Seriously, go watch all of them. They are hilarious. All of the ones to Alyssa Milano are pretty funny, as well as the ones to Apolo Ohno.
and it's a good normal feeling. I told a friend that I've felt like I've been 24 for awhile now, so it's not a big thing. Although, I will say I'm glad it's official now. I might not have told you this before, but I'm a huge fan of even numbers, so I'm REALLY glad I am no longer 23.
Today would have been like any other Monday, except for the fact that my friends and family are awesome! My family is out of town, but they all skyped me to sing Happy Birthday to me. I had tons of friends and cousins text me today (which, I'll be honest, I don't remember getting this many birthday texts before in previous years), several coworkers wished me a happy birthday (and one even put a banner up above my cube), one friend emailed along with a few companies who sent me birthday coupons, the guy who scans my card at the gym, the ATM, and of course there's always the multiple facebook wall posts.
Ahhh Facebook. What would we do without you? I love it, cause on my birthday it's the one time a year that I have high school friends I haven't talked to in YEARS tell me "Happy Birthday." I realize that as I age the number of people that remind me it's my birthday on facebook will slowly decline, but I'm going to enjoy it now while I can. I thanked every single person that wrote on my wall, and occasionally I started conversations with them. I don't know what it is, but I love doing that, especially when my birthday is the only time we talk.
Today would have been any other day, but because of my friends and family, it felt a little more special. Thanks guys!
So, I realize that my previous post was kind of depressing. I am sorry. I just had to get my thoughts and feelings out, and unfortunately/fortunately my blog is the easiest way for me to do that. Last week was my grandmother's funeral, and my friend was right when she told me it would be very cathartic. On the day of the service/burial I didn't even bother wearing any eye make-up cause it would be a waste. I'm glad I didn't, cause I cried during the whole service. But, after that, I was ok.
It was actually a good trip because I kind of got some closure and I got to see some of my extended family that I hadn't seen in years. I got to see my cousins, which was great because I really don't know them very well. I got to eat delicious Mexican food (several times in fact), and I got to talk and listen about why my grandma was so great.
It is times like these that I am so grateful for my knowledge of the Gospel and for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. My cousins, who are not members of the church, were having a very rough time, more so than me. My family tried to help them and share our testimony with them. I love knowing that I will see my grandma again and that if I live righteously I can be with her after this life. I just hope that my cousins can know that too.
Anyway, now that I'm back, I'm doing better, and I think my mom's doing okay. I'm sure there will be moments for all of us when we'll wonder where grandma is, or remember we should tell her something, only to realize she's not here or we can't tell her. But, I guess that's all part of losing someone, huh?
It'll be okay. I'm okay, and for now, that's... okay.
For those that know me well, you know that I usually have to write or say what I'm feeling and thinking about a certain situation in order to make sense of my confusing emotions so that I can understand. The following is me trying to do that.
On Saturday, my maternal grandmother passed away.
We knew it was coming, but it doesn't make it any less upsetting. My grandma has been slowly deteriorating for about a year now from a liver disease, and towards the start of this month, she was put into hospice care. Which, is really just the beginning of the end. On Friday, my grandpa called my mom and told her that the doctor was giving my grandma only 8 hours to a few more days left. My mom bought a one-way plane ticket and flew out there (to New Mexico) that night.
The rest of us just waited.
We tried to do what we normally did. I hung out with my friends on Friday. Dad and Caulin did some scout stuff and then Caulin hung out with his friends on Saturday while my dad, Marin, and I went to dinner. But, there was definitely a different feeling during all of it. I hate waiting, especially when it's something I don't want to happen.
It was Saturday night when my mom texted my dad saying my grandma was going... "Now." My dad had figured out that he could have his phone read his texts for him out loud, and he played it over again several times. "Now." "Now." Now."
After about 15 minutes or so, my mom finally called and said my grandma had passed away. It wasn't until I was about to go to bed and was reading my scriptures and saying my prayers that I started balling. (And embarrassingly enough, this morning when I was getting set apart for a calling, I also started crying.) I have alot of mixed emotions though besides just sadness.
A part of me feels a little relieved that she is no longer in pain and that she didn't drag on in this state for a long time. A part of me is happy that she is now in a better place with my Uncle Quinn, somewhere where my grandma's been wanting to be for a long time now. A part of me, I'll admit, is jealous that she is in such a great place. A part of me is scared to see how the family dynamics both for my mom and aunt and uncle now and then the rest of us at reunions and such are going to change now that she's gone and it's just my grandpa. A part of me knows that I will see her again after this life. But a huge part of me is sad that she is gone.
I've always had this picture in my mind of how certain occasions in the future would be and who would be in those pictures. Just like my graduation from BYU, I've always imagined my whole family being with me for my master's graduation, my wedding, my first child... But now, in my mind, where I had placed my little grandma, there is now a black void. I realize this is very selfish of me. This I know, but I can't help but feel like my mind's picture is missing something. And I hate it.
I know I'll get over it, that this is all part of the grieving process, that she'll still be with me, and any other cliches people say when you don't know what to say when trying to comfort someone who is experiencing a loss. I get it, but I still don't feel any differently at the moment. Thanks, though.
My grandma was tiny, but she was a force to be reckoned. She lived a very hard life in Korea during and after the war, and some of that life we still don't know about, and what we do know might not even be true. She was basically a single mother, raising her children on her own in a tiny 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house. But despite the many trials she faced throughout her life, she carried on, giving all she could and going without for her family. I have some great memories of her, some hilarious like when she used my dad's wire cutters to prune a wild rose-bush in our backyard, but I loved the advice she gave me in her broken English.
She would always tell me that I needed to keep going to school and get a good job and make lots of money and then get married. She told me she was proud of me of how smart and independent I was. She always told me I needed to be a good sister and take care of my siblings and to honor my parents. She told me to be happy.
A while back I wrote another blog post on death. My past self sure made me think. I hope I can continue to live the life my grandma would tell me she is proud of.
